


Touch

by Bicoco



Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: 3x03, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Miggy - Freeform, Season 3, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28574439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bicoco/pseuds/Bicoco
Summary: Post 3x03 - Higgins is puzzled by Magnum's behaviour since she had been shot.
Relationships: Juliet Higgins & Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV, Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV
Comments: 50
Kudos: 147
Collections: My Favorite Magnum PI One-shots (Miggy)





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Just a small OS to see Higgy's thoughts about all the touching Magnum is doing lately. I'm sure we're not the only ones driven crazy by that ;)

  
  
  


It was midnight.

It was midnight and Higgins was pacing back and forth in the study because sleep was eluding her. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t sleep; sure, she was still a little hyped from the day at the immigration agency and the rollercoaster of emotions; from adrenaline, to the fear of being deported and finally the relief of being granted a green card after they had saved that agent’s life. However, she knew it wasn't why she couldn't let her mind rest. 

After their celebratory dinner at La Mariana, she went to Ethan’s after he had finished his shift and they ate some ice cream to celebrate a bit more.

She came home a couple of hours ago because he was tired from work and they had already made plans to see each other tomorrow for lunch. She got ready to go to sleep, but it never came.

All she could think about was Magnum and the changes in him and their relationship. 

Things had been different between them lately.

Oh, the bickering was still there but if she had to be honest with herself, she was usually the one initiating it. Ever since she got shot he was the more mature between the two of them, which was quite an accomplishment… 

She kept pestering him and titillating him because ‘Serious Magnum’ was truly getting under her skin and she wanted to deal with ‘Man-child Magnum’ again. 

How dare he act like a responsible adult - finding solutions to keep her in Hawaii, carrying her to rush her to the hospital, pawning his father's watch to replace the Ferrari's tires - when it was clearly her role in their relationship? 

How could she act like everything was fine when he kept looking at her like that? As if it was the first time he saw her for real.

Her mind was so meddled by this new Magnum she didn’t know how to interact with him anymore that’s why she tried to scold him any chance she had like when they first met. These kinds of interactions were familiar and safe, unlike the more personal ones they were having recently. 

Him giving her dating advice was at the top of the awkwardness spectrum, or so she thought.

That was if she didn’t take into account the most significant change in their relationship, which was how often he touched her lately. Innocent touches, she had convinced herself, because he didn’t think of her that way, but it didn’t stop her from having non-innocent thoughts when he did it.

In the 4 years since she’d known him they had never been particularly tactile, except when they were pretending to be a couple for a case, but ever since she got shot, it was like Magnum couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

And it was unsettling, both the touching and how it made her feel.

First, there was that hand on her thigh when their clients showed their real nature and chased them in the jungle. Then, of course he had to carry her to the car when she had been shot, not that she remembered all the sensations his touch brought while she was bleeding out, but when he grabbed her hand gently to urge her to put pressure on her wound on the way to the hospital she saw in his eyes the exact same things his touch made her feel, as peculiar as it sounded - warmth, affection and of course, worry.

She thought she knew how Thomas Magnum really felt about her when he had looked at her like that, but by the time she gathered her thoughts again, days had passed by, she had surgery, her doctor asked her out. She was even convinced she had imagined it in the first place but when he helped her with her seat belt, they shared a tense moment and his closeness brought all of those sensations back to life in her body. These newly awoken feelings suddenly frightened her like never before, especially since he seemed all serious and on the verge of admitting something life-changing to her. She decided to act nonchalantly and joke away her feelings to show him she wasn’t in the same state of mind as he was in the hope it would dissuade him from saying anything important to her.

He had been right though, her brush with death certainly made her see some things clearly and it made her realize how deeply she felt for her partner.

Things had started to go back to normal but, evidently, the first case they took after she was injured had to leave them stranded in the jungle after a plane crash. 

Her wound opened again and the touching came back.

Unlike any normal human being, she actually had to focus on her pain rather than feeling his fingers slowly slide from her waist to her thigh. Her stomach clenched, but not from the pain. 

Seriously, what was that all about?

She had already been in lust and in love, and never before had she felt that way when someone touched her - like her skin was slowly but surely catching on fire, delightful pinpricks making it rise in goosebumps while her heart was trying to escape from her chest.

Wasn’t she supposed to feel more of those tingling sensations when her own boyfriend touched her?

She and Ethan had been on four dates and even if they hadn’t had sex yet because she wanted to go slow, they certainly had done other things and touched plenty already. 

The last time they agreed to see each other he actually invited her to his place for a home cooked meal and later they ended up making out like teenagers on his couch, his hands disappearing underneath her top to graze across naked skin, his lips kissing the soft expanse of her neck. 

It had felt really nice, but unfortunately the touch she was currently craving wasn’t his. 

It wasn’t fair to Ethan though. She didn’t even give them a chance to evolve into a full relationship before she deemed his touch less worthy than Magnum’s.

She was debating whether she should end things with Ethan or stick around and see if her feelings for him would grow into something more when Magnum interrupted her by entering the study. 

“Hey. Sorry to come in at this late hour but I noticed the light in the study so I knew you weren’t asleep,” he explained. “I came to bring you the payment we received for the Porter case.”

She noticed he seemed a bit ill-at-ease, probably because he was using a false excuse for his presence - this payment could have waited until tomorrow - also it could be that he was standing in front of her in his boxer shorts and his grey tank top he always wore to go kayaking. Maybe she wasn’t the only one plagued with insomnia.

She nodded and he walked towards the desk, and her since she was standing in front of it. He stopped when he was just in front of her and leaned over her to put the envelope on top of the furniture.

She recoiled when she felt his warm palm settle on her waist like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Would you please stop touching me?”

He jumped away from her as if his hand had been burnt and Higgins felt guilty at how snippish she had sounded.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “It’s just that it’s making me feel…”

‘ _ How did it make her feel? _ ’

“Feel how?” he asked when she didn’t finish her sentence.

“Things.”

He eyed her suspiciously and suddenly heat engulfed her whole body. How was she going to backtrack from this situation?

“What things?”

“Things I shouldn’t feel while I’m seeing another man,” she told him as she crossed her arms on her chest, suddenly feeling naked in her tank top and sleep shorts in front of him.

"Oh." 

He sounded sheepish but also… Pleased? Ugh, things were so much easier when she was just closed off to love. Now that she had finally let someone in, per Magnum's advice might she add, he was showing interest in her? What proved to her that he was genuine and not just looking to get into her pants? 

On top of everything, he now knew his touch didn’t leave her indifferent, which granted him the upper hand while she was left with guessing what he wanted from her.

“Have you thought about why you’re feeling like this in spite of you dating your doctor?” He asked her, and she was surprised by how on point his question was because she certainly did her best not to think about it.

Apparently, he already knew he wasn’t going to get an answer from her right away because he continued.

“I mean, we’ve known each other for a long time and we have touched plenty, while we were hurt or during our undercover operations. I never knew it was bothering you so much until now.”

“It wasn’t before,” she begrudgingly admitted. 

“Then what changed?”

“I don’t know,” she lied stubbornly.

Of course, she knew what had changed; she had been on the verge of being deported, he had asked her to marry him, and had done everything he could to make her stay when she declined his proposal. He proved to her that the loyalty he showed his best friends extended to her as well, and it made her feel like she belonged with this man; this Ohana on this island. She never wanted to leave them, and more importantly him. But she couldn’t tell him that.

He sneered.

“I’ll let you think about it then.”

He turned away as if to leave, but she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.

“Why are you doing it?” She asked as he was about to step through the threshold.

He turned around to face her again and his expression told her he didn’t quite understand her question.

« The touching, why are you suddenly doing it? »

He walked back towards her and grew even more serious. Juliet swallowed her saliva painfully; why did she have to ask this question ? She already knew that you weren’t supposed to ask a question that you’re not ready to hear the answer to.

« I’ve had too many scares when it comes to you lately. »

She frowned, not understanding what he meant.

« What is that supposed to mean? »

He sighed, like he was gathering courage to speak.

« It means that I’m tired of being afraid to lose you. First with the threat of you being deported, then you ask me to move out of Robin’s Nest, and you being shot was the last straw. Do you have any idea how it felt to wait for hours in that hospital chair while I was covered in your blood, not knowing if you were going to live or not? »

The sound of his voice was rising and he was getting agitated as if talking about this subject brought back the worry and pain he had apparently felt. Juliet tried to regulate her breathing because her heart suddenly started to race at his words; she had no idea he had felt that way.

« I just need to make sure you’re ok, that you are alive and you’re still with me. I apologize if me touching you has made you uncomfortable, but feeling your warmth beneath my fingertips is the only way I’ve found to settle my nerves. »

His voice was trembling and it made her feel so guilty that she was somehow responsible for his agony. He seemed quite distraught at her leaving him which was kind of puzzling to her.

« But why did you push me towards Ethan then? »

He trailed his fingers through his hair in frustration.

« You don’t feel for me what I feel for you, and that’s ok. I just want you to be happy. After everything you went through, you deserve to be happy, and if I’m not the one making you happy then so be it. »

His words were making no sense at all; what he had just said implied that he had deep feelings for her and yet he was pushing her into another man’s arms because he didn’t think she wanted him. But of course, why would he think otherwise? She has never shown him how appreciative she was of him and everything he did for her.

She looked at him and wanted to say something, but what? Everything was a mess, in her head and in her heart and once she would speak aloud how relieved she had been when those elevator doors opened today and he was alright, how she had to restrain herself from running to him and hugging him, then it would be out in the open. Though she could understand now how him touching her would make him feel better after her brush with death.

He brought her out of her thoughts.

« I should go to sleep, I’m sorry I said anything and I promise I will stop touching you, » he told her in a dejected tone. « Goodnight, Higgy. »

He turned his heels again.

« No, wait! »

He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around to look at her.

« How can you say you don’t want to lose me and yet tell me to go ahead with my relationship with Ethan? How is that not losing me? »

His head dropped as he looked at his feet and he chuckled darkly.

« It would be considered losing you if I had you to begin with. »

He turned around slowly, aligning his gaze with hers.

« But you and I both know that’s not the case. And I urged you to give Ethan a chance since it’s the first relationship you’ve had since your fiancé died; because if you weren’t ready for him, there was no way you would be ready for me. »

Higgins was speechless and overwhelmed at the same time.

« Look, I told you I don’t want to lose you, and I mean it, but I just want you to be a part of my life. And if it’s only as my friend and partner then I’ll gladly take what you can give me. »

She felt tears rise up in her eyes at the frustration she felt against herself. Why couldn’t she sort her feelings? Had she been emotionally numb for so long that she was now stuck and incapable of recognizing what she felt for Magnum? Was it affection like she felt for Kumu or Rick or T.C? Was it love like she had felt for Richard? Was it more than that?

She lost her battle against her tears as she felt them roll down her cheeks and Magnum came closer to her in an attempt to console her but, to her disappointment, he stopped himself about a foot away from her.

« I’m sorry, Magnum. Everything is so confusing right now. You said that after a brush with death, people tend to sort their priorities and see things differently, but I just feel so lost since then. I just know that I want to live here surrounded by our friends and keep working with you. I don’t want to lose you either and I wanted to hug you so much when you came out of that elevator earlier. I was so scared you had been hurt or worse. »

« The last thing I want is to hurt you or scare you, and I really don’t want to make you cry. Do I have your permission to hug you? »

She sniffled and nodded; nothing sounded better than having Magnum’s arms around her. He closed the last of the distance between them and wrapped one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders before pulling her gently against his body. She let herself be hauled against his chest like she weighed nothing and nestled her face against his shoulder, her nose buried in his fragrant neck while her arms went around his back.

Magnum rubbed tiny circles on her back with the palm of his hand and even though it was above the fabric of her top, it soothed her instantly, relaxing her tense muscles. She took deep breaths to calm her tears and his scent, so familiar and enticing, invaded her nostrils making her moan softly in contentment.

Maybe she shouldn’t think too much about what they were doing and enjoy his touch rather than shy away from it. He squeezed her even tighter and pressed a kiss on the top of her head, and she knew she wanted his arms and only his arms around her.

After a few minutes he pushed her shoulders slightly so they could look at each other and wiped the last remnants of her tears on her cheeks.

« Are you feeling better? » He asked her.

She nodded as she trailed her hands up and down his muscular back softly.

« Are you still as confused? »

She smiled as she shook her head; some things were now clear as water and she couldn’t ignore them any longer.

« I don’t know if what I feel for you is love, but what I do know is that I’m more excited to see you than my boyfriend, and that your touch gives me more sensation than his does. I know my feelings for you run deeper than a simple friendship, and that those feelings have crept up on me without me noticing, » she whispered as they were still holding each other so close.

« I believe these pieces of information are very good, » he told her with a smile.

« But I’m so scared, » she said in a wavering voice.

« Scared of what? »

He kept rubbing his soft circles on her back in an attempt to reassure her.

« Losing you, like I lost Richard. Scared that if we get together you would get tired of me and leave me for another woman, » she listed what was probably the tip of the iceberg of all her fears regarding Magnum and her but she didn’t want to scare him away already.

« First of all, how could I get tired of you? You’re the most interesting person I have ever met. As for the other part, I wish I could promise you that nothing would ever happen to me, but you and I both know that in our line of duty we could get seriously injured or worse. I’m just going to say that you keeping your feelings to yourself will not prevent me or you from getting in danger. There are no guarantees in life, but we shouldn’t keep ourselves from living it to the fullest. »

Juliet tried to swallow the emotions that were making her throat close up. He was right; she could have died with that bullet and he could have died in that elevator without them having admitted their feelings to each other and enjoying their lives as partners - both professionally and personally.

She pressed her forehead against his as she caressed his cheek, feeling his stubble scratch her palm.

« What do you want, Higgy? I’ll give you anything you want, » he told her earnestly.

« I want you, Magnum. I want you to make me happy as much as I want to make you happy. »

His smile was so wide at her words that Juliet’s breath hitched.

« I’ll make it my mission to make you happy because I love you so much. »

Her eyes widened in panic and she recoiled slightly from him but he rushed to reassure her.

« You don’t have to say anything back. I just want you to know how I feel about you. »

He trailed his fingers through her blond curls as he gazed at her affectionately and seeing Magnum smitten - without a better word to describe his expression - with her filled her with warmth as she felt her heart swell and couldn’t stop herself from rising on her tiptoes to join her lips to his.

Magnum froze in surprise at first but soon moved his lips softly against hers until she granted him access to the confines of her mouth that he didn’t hesitate to explore with his tongue. Higgins moaned as she tried to follow his gentle rhythm and brought him even closer to her by gripping his hair firmly.

How could she have any doubt about her feelings for Thomas Magnum when a single kiss was making her stomach do somersaults, her skin erupt in goosebumps and her heart beat wildly in her chest? 

After a few minutes of their tongues caressing each other’s languorously, they had to break apart to catch their breaths but when Juliet’s gaze dropped down to his reddened, swollen lips she didn’t wait for her breathing to come back to normal before she drew him to her again for a much more passionate kiss. Magnum walked towards the desk, backing her up until her butt bumped into the furniture, never breaking away from their embrace, and hoisted her up so she was now seated on the furniture with her spread legs cradling his hips.

It felt so good - his gorgeous lips on hers, his hands slipping underneath her tank top to graze across the skin of her back, his whole body pressed against hers - it made her almost forget about….

“Oh, Bloody Hell!’” She exclaimed as she broke away from his mouth.

Her protest made him jump away from her and look at her as if he was worried he had hurt her or something.

“What… What’s wrong?”

Her chest heaved rapidly from his kisses and the sudden realization that she had been kissing Magnum while seeing another man.

“Ethan,” she simply said and Magnum’s gaze dropped to his feet, unable to meet her eyes.

“Oh…”

He trailed his fingers through his hair, mussing it even more than she did earlier during their make out session and she couldn’t help but find him delicious as hell.

He was starting to back away from her before she grabbed his hand, preventing him from leaving her.

“What are you doing?” He asked her, confused about why she wasn’t letting go of him.

She pecked his lips gently to show him this epiphany wasn’t changing anything between them.

“I think we shouldn't let things go further between us until I can see Ethan and tell him we are through. I don’t want to start something with you under these circumstances,” she told him as she stroked his cheek with her thumb.

Magnum had thought she would choose Ethan over him, so when her words registered to him he couldn’t hold a blinding smile in response.

“You want to start something with me?” He asked her in awe, causing Higgins to think he looked like a little boy on Christmas morning seeing all the presents under the tree,and she decided that she wanted to cherish this man forever.

She cupped both of his cheeks and closed the distance between them to fuse their lips again, showing him everything she couldn’t tell him yet.

“Yes, I want to stop being afraid, I want to trust you with my heart and see where we can go together.”

“I’ll take care of your heart as if it was the most precious gem ever. You have no idea how glad I am that you’re giving us a chance.”

He wrapped her in the warmest hug she had ever had and she rubbed her palms across the wide expanse of his back.

“I’m glad too.”

He grabbed her ankles and urged her to wrap them around his waist before he picked her up under her thighs and hoisted her up against him.

“What are you doing?” She asked, slightly nervous.

“Don’t be scared, Higgy. I just want to cuddle on the couch with you.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the living room until he sat on the couch with her still clinging to him.

“Ok, but on one condition,” she told him.

“What is it?

“You take off that shirt,” she directed.

He chuckled until he saw she wasn’t joking.

“You’re serious?”

“”Well, yes. You’re not the only one who wants to touch, you know?”

“Ok,” he relented. “I’ll let you do the honors then.”

His hands released her butt that he had been cradling since they left the study, and she lost no time before divesting him of his top. She took advantage of their current position to trail her fingers across his well-defined chest, her nails grazing his dark nipples and she understood now why he was so tactile. Touching him felt as good as him touching her, and now she couldn’t wait to go further in their relationship with him; but they had to wait a bit more before they could do that.

He grabbed her hands and planted a soft kiss in each palm.

“If you want us to behave, you should stop with the touching,” he warned her.

“Distracting, isn’t it?” She teased him.

« When are you meeting with Ethan to break the news to him? » He asked nervously.

« Tomorrow, for lunch. »

« That’s good. »

« Eager, aren’t you? » She teased him.

« Yes, I don’t want anyone or anything between us, » he told her, laying down on the couch and bringing her with him.

She settled on his side, with her head on his chest, her ear directly on top of his heart and their legs tangled with each other’s. His arm encircled her waist as he pressed a kiss in her hair while his other hand grabbed a blanket on the back of the couch to cover them.

Higgins was certain she had found her new favorite spot as she let his warmth seep through her skin, feeling like she was finally home for the first time in years.

She felt him relax under her as his heartbeat slowed down, and when she was convinced he was asleep she whispered « I love you » against the soft skin of his neck just to try it out.

His arm tightened around her waist and she realized he wasn’t completely out cold.

It should have freaked her out, but surprisingly she had never felt calmer. Realizing, as she fell asleep on his chest, that she had exactly what she had been wishing for all along.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :D


End file.
